Has anyone ever told you that you need to get your priorities in check? When I hear this, I not only think that it is a harsh statement, but it seems they might be suggesting that you are acting irresponsible and judging the way you choose to live your days—your life. We unknowingly make day-to-day decisions, big and small, that we prioritize.

After the long Memorial Day weekend, a co-worker asked me what I did and if I had a nice day off. I explained how I made a shoe wall that was built with bookshelves from Ikea, something I’ve been dying to do. She laughed and said, “So that was the priority for the weekend!?” and I thought, “YES!” but it was more than that. Sure, I could’ve been more productive and done laundry, worked out or gone grocery shopping, but I didn’t. It would be easy for someone to say, “Haha, priorities of a basic millennial.” Honestly, it was more than just the shoes (and a lot of them) … I needed that weekend to build a space for myself, one that I felt comfortable and happy to walk into. I think it’s choices like that, the kind that may seem silly to others, are the ones we need without even realizing why at the time. 

CAREER OR LOVE: Oh, the theory that you can’t have both! I never looked at love that way. I never consciously made the decision that work OR love has to be the priority. I think when you meet the right person, you both should know each other enough to feel secure within the relationship and be capable of compromising. Some believe that your significant other should always come first and that’s ok. Although, I would want someone to have their own thing, a passion for something other than me and the relationship. Sure, who doesn’t want to feel important?  Ideally, it is just as important to grow as individuals as it is to grow together and build a strong foundation.

DATING: After my breakup there were those who said, “Dayna… What are you doing dating? Focus on you and take this time to find yourself.” Gag me. My response was something along the lines of how I know myself, what I want and the kind of person I want in my life. Then there were those who said, “This is a great time to have fun and date, just enjoy it!” Needless to say, this was a vicious cycle as I went from having 2 dates scheduled on the same day to deleting all my dating apps. I have come to the realization that dating isn’t the priority for me right now. Trust me, I’m not saying that if I happen to organically meet Prince Charming on the street I’m going to whip out my pepper spray and say, “STAY BACK! KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!” As much as I know who I am, I need to create my life and routine here in California before falling into someone else’s.

HOBBIES AND HEALTH: Someone recently said to me, that I should schedule time in my calendar for myself, and that’s just what I did. I literally made a note on my calendar for 6:30pm everyday this month to go to the gym. I honestly don’t care if when I get there I just bounce up and down on the elliptical and watch TV. To me, it’s less about getting fit, but rather learning how to unplug, step away from the computer and prioritize that time just for me to mentally decompress!

Sometimes in order to say yes to YOU and your priorities you have to say no to something else. It isn’t easy, but often times it’s worth it!