I recently wrote about natural skincare products I use on a daily basis to keep my adult acne at bay. That has now been updated. Here’s the thing, I would not be able to sleep at night knowing the night serum I applied is from a company that promotes drug use, crude and manic behavior and ultimately cyber bullying. For those who aren’t familiar, Deciem is an “abnormal beauty company”, known for their affordable, natural collection of skincare and beauty products… soon to be overshadowed by their toxic social media presence. The company has mastered the perfect formula for affordable products, I’ll give them that, but their Instagram is a recipe for disaster.
Before I dive in here I would like to mention that I’ve never written an article bashing a brand and I’m not about to. I am simply stating the facts and highlighting the hate and negativity the CEO of Deciem is partaking in and stirring up himself. It has made my blood boil and I am confident I’m not the only one getting heated. Others has expressed their concern for the CEO’s mental state and desire for content that is relevant to the brand itself.
Deciem’s Instagram looks like it’s been managed by both Kanye West and Donald Trump. The needless provoking posts, curated by the CEO, are offensive and quite frankly disappointing. I will not be mentioning this CEO’s name because 1. I never mention names when I’m writing about someone I am less than fond of and 2. He doesn’t deserve a shout-out. It’s like the feeling of when you were younger and so disgusted with an ex that you and your friends had to give him a different name when speaking about him. Let’s do that, let’s call him Mr. Cyber Bully.
So here we go. I’m breaking down for you why I am outraged by Mr. Cyber Bully and Deciem’s Instagram account.
THEY SAY YOU ARE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
If this is the type of man behind the brand, what kind of people are hired to represent him and the company? If he’s on drugs (his words not mine) is the team who is producing and promoting the products on drugs as well? Mr. Cyber Bully posted a selfie, among many, on Deciem’s Instagram account to which he says that Botox and drugs have helped him get clear, ageless skin. He gave zero credit to his products. While I appreciate authenticity, this was seemingly narcissistic behavior, a man who thought his comment was cute and funny. Such a claim shouldn’t have been shared on the brand’s social media. It hurts to know that he doesn’t care about the young girls who are following this Instagram account for skincare inspiration. Instead, they see a comment made by Deciem’s “leader” that drugs and Botox is really what he credits for his ageless skin. How dare you Mr. Cyber Bully!
In March 2017 I had full blown adult acne. Sounds crazy but I was more fascinated and humbled than anything. I thought, “Man, so this is what it feels like.” “Feels like” is what came to mind rather than “looks like” because this wasn’t about my looks. The initial shock and struggle to find a remedy for my acne was more overwhelming than anything. I feared that the discomfort of the cystic acne would never go away but I made an effort to still go out and live my life. I’m humbled to have gone through this because it truly tested my patience and resilience. Unless you’ve gone through it, you don’t understand the emotional rollercoaster one feels when dealing with acne.
To take you back a bit, I started wearing foundation when I was only 13 years old because I believed my skin looked better with it. The nuns at my catholic school would make me wash my face and would take away my lip-gloss, which I’m still waiting to get back. I would beg my mom to let me stay home from school when I had a pimple… literally just one. I visited my dermatologist at least once a month and was notorious for begging the staff to squeeze me into the doctor’s schedule due to an emergency (the emergency being I had more than one zit.) If you were to tell me then that one day I’d be sharing photos of myself without makeup I’d say you were crazy. It wasn’t until college that I found my self-worth and confidence to feel comfortable in my own pale (but beautiful) skin… with or without makeup.
Full disclosure— I hate traveling. This goes back to college, when I lied and told my friends and family that my major didn’t allow me to study abroad… I like my own bed, sue me. Nowadays, if a guy’s profile on Bumble says “I love to travel!” or “just got back from traveling the world!” I immediately block his account and continue to swipe left in fear. Clearly, I’ve known deep down that this isn’t an interest of mine but only of recent have I owned it.
I don’t like trips abroad, cooking, manicures, the beach or drinking… so if you scroll through my Instagram, you may decide I’m the least fun person you’ll ever meet. But at least I’m being honest. You can’t tell me that everyone on social media enjoys unicorn toast in the AM, followed by a Starbucks unicorn frappuccino and the real magic is getting to SoulCycle that evening. We make it clear what our passions and hobbies are but leave out what we don’t like because it’s uncomfortable. Disliking something will make us sound less fun, right?
I get it though. We want everyone to think we’re a good time. I used to think that confessing my strong disinterest in things like traveling would make me sound less adventurous, independent or more introverted than I already seem… But I realized how communicating to others about what doesn’t interest me can be just as important as telling them what does. No brainer? Maybe in 2004. Personally, I found it to be difficult when social media wants me to portray an image of what most people like to do in their free time. Here are some of my do’s and don’ts I’ve been living by.
“Hey Dayna, come see how cool the new toilet flushes!” my dad said when I came home for my brother’s 30th and Fashion Week. Some things never change…
When I was in New York I subconsciously was looking for that “ah ha moment” where I’d feel like, this is home and this is why I love NYC. That would’ve been easier… knowing that one day I’d come back and be closer to my family and friends. But I never had that moment of clarity.
Did you ever have that feeling of excitement coming home from college, that, “it’s good to be home” feeling as you drove around wowed by all the little updates in your town? It felt as though New York and I were growing together and I loved that. But this time was different. I drove around lovely Long Island (sarcasm) and didn’t feel a thing. In fact, the most “exciting” upgrade in my hood was my dad’s new toilet.
Before I begin I want to say that I am so incredibly grateful to have had such experiences being backstage at previous fashion shows. I know there are a ton of girls who would love to have been given those opportunities… which is why I am making room for them. This was my last year attending New York Fashion Week.
My first year at NYFW was in 2010 when I was in college. Since I studied fashion, I was presented the opportunity to work a few of the shows, one being BCBGMAXAZRIA. I remember working the door and feeling so fucking cool… even with my worker’s shirt on. As I was finishing help those find their seats, one of the PR girls was freaking out that two seats in the 2nd row were empty. This doesn’t look good for designers and wouldn’t appear nicely in photos captured of the show. Naturally, a friend and I were happy to fill in the gaps. I recall sitting there next to her and listening to her gasp and afterwards say it was one of the coolest moments of her life. I agreed it was cool, but deep down I really didn’t give a shit. I should’ve know at that moment that maybe fashion isn’t my calling.
Fast forward a few years later when I wrote about the models you should follow on Instagram and featured fun GIFS (or as everyone calls them now, boomerangs) of the models backstage. I wrote these articles because I felt like for those like me, who might not be totally inspired by the latest trends, can at least see that there is more to the women who walk the runway and that’s why I enjoyed being backstage vs watching the shows. Without knowing it at the time, I was starting to transition from a fashion blog to more lifestyle content.
Recently, I had a physical and finally found a doctor in California. It was right around the corner from work and it was an easy in and out—didn’t have to experience that deadly long wait at a doctor’s office. When the doctor called me in she asked me a few questions, the usual, “are you allergic to anything?”, “do any health problems and/or diseases run in your family?” all that boring stuff. Then she asked me to step on the scale so she can get my weight…. I gained 10 lbs. TEN POUNDS.
I didn’t think of the 4th of July cupcakes I enjoyed all by myself or the fact that when I do go to the gym I just chill on the elliptical and watch Bravo because I only get basic cable at home. Nope, instead I questioned the doctor, asked her to check again, then calmly suggested, “Maybe I have a thyroid problem? Or could it be the medicine I was on when I was sick? Wait! I think I am getting my period soon?!” The doctor smiled, probably holding back her laughter, and said, “I think you’ve just have had a stressful last couple months and need to work out…” That. Bitch. But you know what, this time has been stressful. Living in a new state, starting a new job, bills galore… I’m not going to stress over this too. A six pack and a tight ass hasn’t been my main focus and when I’ve tried being more active this is what happened. Just a few struggles I faced when I’ve tried to get my gym on…
Marnie was, and still is a total roller coaster on the HBO show, Girls. We all know when she claims to be “okay”, girlfriend is sooo not okay. Marnie and I both do this thing where we put on our happy face and hold things in. I’m fully aware of this now because I realized I am indeed this character on Girls. Sooner or later, we burn ourselves out when we do this. Case and point, my semi breakdown this week that totally screwed up all the goals I put into place this month. However, unlike Marnie, I see that I might’ve pushed myself too hard to escape my emotions. Therefore, I feel zero guilt for these 4 epic fails this June
FAIL #1: Start a healthier diet
This past Wednesday I was grocery shopping and saw the most adorbs 4th of July cupcakes and figured I’d bring them to the office for the girls along with a bottle of wine. I told my bestie, Olivia who lives in NYC, about my sweet gesture but naturally she calls me out saying, “Dayna, you don’t even eat cupcakes!?!” And I thought, “Well, I can’t just bring wine, can I?” Anyways, she was right. I don’t do cupcakes. Or brownies. Or anything unhealthy really because I’m a freak who was once gluten-free and enjoyed juice cleanses (bless my 19-year-old self).
That night I wanted something delish after dinner and usually a piece of dark chocolate does the trick but the little bastards were looking at me and I couldn’t resist their cuteness. I tried to look away and think about the healthy new diet I decided to get back into this month. But, low and behold, I guess I fucking eat cupcakes now.
The next morning my coworker, Annie, noticed my blue tongue and said, “cupcakes for breakfast?..” But hell this is coming from a girl who eats string cheese like it’s her job so… Needless to say the cupcakes and wine didn’t make it to the office this week.
Trust me, we’re sincerely sorry we’re not sorry. We have no interest in hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on one’s toes. We don’t need to “cut a bitch” to get what we want. We aren’t confrontational but we’re not scared of standing up for ourselves either. These are the struggles of being a sweet boss bitch.
We’re always smiling, no resting bitch face here :) This doesn’t mean we aren’t silently judging your offensive words and think you’re a fool. We feel bad for you, in fact, we’re here for you if you want to talk.
Even when we try to give someone a nasty look it’s hard to keep a straight face. Maybe we should just stick to mean emoji’s, like the purple devil or red face emoji! That will show em…