Here’s What Changed In New York

“Hey Dayna, come see how cool the new toilet flushes!” my dad said when I came home for my brother’s 30th and Fashion Week. Some things never change…

When I was in New York I subconsciously was looking for that “ah ha moment” where I’d feel like, this is home and this is why I love NYC.  That would’ve been easier… knowing that one day I’d come back and be closer to my family and friends. But I never had that moment of clarity.

Did you ever have that feeling of excitement coming home from college, that, “it’s good to be home” feeling as you drove around wowed by all the little updates in your town? It felt as though New York and I were growing together and I loved that. But this time was different. I drove around lovely Long Island (sarcasm) and didn’t feel a thing. In fact, the most “exciting” upgrade in my hood was my dad’s new toilet.

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4 Fails in June

Marnie was, and still is a total roller coaster on the HBO show, Girls. We all know when she claims to be “okay”, girlfriend is sooo not okay. Marnie and I both do this thing where we put on our happy face and hold things in. I’m fully aware of this now because I realized I am indeed this character on Girls. Sooner or later, we burn ourselves out when we do this. Case and point, my semi breakdown this week that totally screwed up all the goals I put into place this month. However, unlike Marnie, I see that I might’ve pushed myself too hard to escape my emotions. Therefore, I feel zero guilt for these 4 epic fails this June

FAIL #1: Start a healthier diet
This past Wednesday I was grocery shopping and saw the most adorbs 4th of July cupcakes and figured I’d bring them to the office for the girls along with a bottle of wine. I told my bestie, Olivia who lives in NYC, about my sweet gesture but naturally she calls me out saying, “Dayna, you don’t even eat cupcakes!?!” And I thought, “Well, I can’t just bring wine, can I?” Anyways, she was right. I don’t do cupcakes. Or brownies. Or anything unhealthy really because I’m a freak who was once gluten-free and enjoyed juice cleanses (bless my 19-year-old self).

That night I wanted something delish after dinner and usually a piece of dark chocolate does the trick but the little bastards were looking at me and I couldn’t resist their cuteness. I tried to look away and think about the healthy new diet I decided to get back into this month. But, low and behold, I guess I fucking eat cupcakes now. 

The next morning my coworker, Annie, noticed my blue tongue and said, “cupcakes for breakfast?..” But hell this is coming from a girl who eats string cheese like it’s her job so… Needless to say the cupcakes and wine didn’t make it to the office this week.

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Signs You’re A Sweet Boss Bitch

Trust me, we’re sincerely sorry we’re not sorry. We have no interest in hurting anyone’s feelings or stepping on one’s toes. We don’t need to “cut a bitch” to get what we want. We aren’t confrontational but we’re not scared of standing up for ourselves either. These are the struggles of being a sweet boss bitch.

We’re always smiling, no resting bitch face here :) This doesn’t mean we aren’t silently judging your offensive words and think you’re a fool. We feel bad for you, in fact, we’re here for you if you want to talk.

Even when we try to give someone a nasty look it’s hard to keep a straight face. Maybe we should just stick to mean emoji’s, like the purple devil or red face emoji! That will show em…

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#PRIORITIES

Has anyone ever told you that you need to get your priorities in check? When I hear this, I not only think that it is a harsh statement, but it seems they might be suggesting that you are acting irresponsible and judging the way you choose to live your days—your life. We unknowingly make day-to-day decisions, big and small, that we prioritize.

After the long Memorial Day weekend, a co-worker asked me what I did and if I had a nice day off. I explained how I made a shoe wall that was built with bookshelves from Ikea, something I’ve been dying to do. She laughed and said, “So that was the priority for the weekend!?” and I thought, “YES!” but it was more than that. Sure, I could’ve been more productive and done laundry, worked out or gone grocery shopping, but I didn’t. It would be easy for someone to say, “Haha, priorities of a basic millennial.” Honestly, it was more than just the shoes (and a lot of them) … I needed that weekend to build a space for myself, one that I felt comfortable and happy to walk into. I think it’s choices like that, the kind that may seem silly to others, are the ones we need without even realizing why at the time. 

CAREER OR LOVE: Oh, the theory that you can’t have both! I never looked at love that way. I never consciously made the decision that work OR love has to be the priority. I think when you meet the right person, you both should know each other enough to feel secure within the relationship and be capable of compromising. Some believe that your significant other should always come first and that’s ok. Although, I would want someone to have their own thing, a passion for something other than me and the relationship. Sure, who doesn’t want to feel important?  Ideally, it is just as important to grow as individuals as it is to grow together and build a strong foundation.

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Audrey With The Red Hair

Before I begin, please note this story isn’t about a guy, but rather a twist of fate, a sign that came at the most ideal time. 

I can’t lie. It hasn’t been an easy adjustment this past month. It feels like it’s been the calm AFTER the storm where everything that just happened, on top of being far away from friends and family, has sunk in. This past week I wondered, “what am I doing here in California?!” Sure, the weather is awesome, the food is fresh (sushi everyday please!) and I love my new job and coworkers who helped make this transition easier, though I can’t help but miss home and feel as though nobody here will ever fully understand the heartbreak I just went through.

It was the end of the workday and I opened up to my coworker, Audrey, who I’ve been sharing an office with for over a month. In the short amount of time that we’ve worked together, she has taken me under her wing and although she was new to LA too, she has made the move easier. As if I didn’t like her already, she gave the best advice that made me feel okay to go through my emotions, especially since she knew bits and pieces of my recent breakup.

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Dating & Life Advice From My Airbnb Host

Friday night was the first time I truly felt on my own in California. My relationship ending was one thing, but what felt worse, was not having my amazing life coach/therapist to talk with. This of course, was my Airbnb Host, another older and wiser adult, who I’ve become close to in a short period of time. (I really need to start meeting people my own age.) I have to admit, I was a little cautious about the whole Airbnb thing at first, but I needed a place to stay temporarily before I landed a studio to call my own.

Bridgets home

First lesson I learned when I walked into her home, was that you CAN mix-and-match prints. I knew right then, I was going to totally milk this and get as much décor advice as possible. Little did I know, I’d be gaining so much more. I talked to her about basically everything this past month. Yep, if you’re reading this, she probably knows you, your last name, your address and we should be getting a sample of your DNA back soon; but let’s stick to the subject. Here is some kickass advice to live by from my Airbnb Host!

IMG_7740Pay attention to “Pink Flags”: I HATE that I often excuse those little things about a person that drive me crazy and don’t make me feel good. An unanswered text, “He must be busy,” or how about that guy who is only available on Sunday? Yep, he’s a keeper. If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal. All the little bits of “information” they’re unknowingly sharing might be nothing at all. The only thing you can do is follow your gut and call them what they are, “Pink Flags.” They ain’t red yet, but they are getting close.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting people out of your life: I think the reason why I handled the breakup semi-ok was because I’ve had worse. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by not boyfriends but close girlfriends, who are no longer in my life. This present situation has had me reflect on the past and had me thinking, “Wow, that’s a list long of people I’ve walked away from.” My Airbnb Host made me feel better when she said, “You cut them out of your life for a reason.”IMG_8276 I thought, you know what, she’s right! Even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose to walk away, knowing that relationship wasn’t healthy for me. I’m proud to say that I know when it’s time to walk away from a once beautiful relationship, boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, I have to start not feeling guilty for it.

Why lie? Be straight up: While this seems like a given, it’s actually harder than it sounds. I’ve realized that I have lied a few times to protect another person’s feelings. Ah wait, that’s a lie. I lied because I felt it was easier than getting into something that would be uncomfortable. Sure, I can be the most straight-up bitch and tell it like it is to my besties (sorry again Olivia, LOVE YOU!). Then why do I sugarcoat things with the opposite sex? Not to excuse my actions, but I think most of us are guilty of this. For example, when I was out with this guy, he asked me if I was talking to anyone else and I said, no. Then, as I was chatting with my Airbnb Host I said, “Well… there is this one other guy…” and she said, “Why do we do this?! Why do we lie?!” She’s right, why didn’t I just say, “Yes, I am talking to a few other people, but I’ve only gone out with you?” I think it’s just a natural reflex. Whether we’re concerned that we may sound slutty, worried about hurting the other persons feelings, or simply just don’t want to spoil the moment, we lie. No more of that.

I’ve given my keys back twice to people this month. Only this time, the person who closed the door opened my mind in more ways than one. Now that’s a 5 star rating!

 

When I met you in the winter

“Be nice or I’ll write about you on my blog”, my instagram bio says. Well, a few nice guys didn’t like this and asked if that meant I only write about the bad ones. I then thought of a couple boys I’ve met and there was one that stood out to me. 

On a chilly winter day I was running late and a little lost in New York City. My phone was dead and I had no shame asking anyone and everyone for directions. I asked a foreigner, of course, and two girls who completely blew me off. That’s when I met him. He told me to follow him, he was taking the B and I was taking the C train uptown. He just moved into the city and we talked about how easy it is to get confused with the subways but I think he was trying to make me feel better.

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You’re Not Taylor Swift. Put The Mic Down.

I was never a HUGE Taylor Swift fan, but I have to admit, I love her latest album. Mainly because it’s basically the story of my life…or at least this past year. It’s as though Taylor and I were bff and she spilt all my secrets on the 1989 album.  But, as much as I relate to her music, I try not to quote her songs on social media.

Here’s why if you have a “Blank Space” underneath your Instagram picture or Twitpic you should probably just come up with your own caption. 

1. Using lyrics to get real answers. You’re not going to find any answers by tweeting, “are we out of the woods yet?” Most likely he’s going to think you went hiking and got lost.

tumblr_lx06bl622c1qlyqom2. Tweeting how much you love him, then how much you hate him. This morning was all, “Sparks Fly” and tonight there’s “Bad Blood?” You kinda just look like a crazy bitch.tumblr_ngctp57tKX1rqu86vo2_500

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