Dating & Life Advice From My Airbnb Host

Friday night was the first time I truly felt on my own in California. My relationship ending was one thing, but what felt worse, was not having my amazing life coach/therapist to talk with. This of course, was my Airbnb Host, another older and wiser adult, who I’ve become close to in a short period of time. (I really need to start meeting people my own age.) I have to admit, I was a little cautious about the whole Airbnb thing at first, but I needed a place to stay temporarily before I landed a studio to call my own.

Bridgets home

First lesson I learned when I walked into her home, was that you CAN mix-and-match prints. I knew right then, I was going to totally milk this and get as much décor advice as possible. Little did I know, I’d be gaining so much more. I talked to her about basically everything this past month. Yep, if you’re reading this, she probably knows you, your last name, your address and we should be getting a sample of your DNA back soon; but let’s stick to the subject. Here is some kickass advice to live by from my Airbnb Host!

IMG_7740Pay attention to “Pink Flags”: I HATE that I often excuse those little things about a person that drive me crazy and don’t make me feel good. An unanswered text, “He must be busy,” or how about that guy who is only available on Sunday? Yep, he’s a keeper. If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal. All the little bits of “information” they’re unknowingly sharing might be nothing at all. The only thing you can do is follow your gut and call them what they are, “Pink Flags.” They ain’t red yet, but they are getting close.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting people out of your life: I think the reason why I handled the breakup semi-ok was because I’ve had worse. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by not boyfriends but close girlfriends, who are no longer in my life. This present situation has had me reflect on the past and had me thinking, “Wow, that’s a list long of people I’ve walked away from.” My Airbnb Host made me feel better when she said, “You cut them out of your life for a reason.”IMG_8276 I thought, you know what, she’s right! Even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose to walk away, knowing that relationship wasn’t healthy for me. I’m proud to say that I know when it’s time to walk away from a once beautiful relationship, boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, I have to start not feeling guilty for it.

Why lie? Be straight up: While this seems like a given, it’s actually harder than it sounds. I’ve realized that I have lied a few times to protect another person’s feelings. Ah wait, that’s a lie. I lied because I felt it was easier than getting into something that would be uncomfortable. Sure, I can be the most straight-up bitch and tell it like it is to my besties (sorry again Olivia, LOVE YOU!). Then why do I sugarcoat things with the opposite sex? Not to excuse my actions, but I think most of us are guilty of this. For example, when I was out with this guy, he asked me if I was talking to anyone else and I said, no. Then, as I was chatting with my Airbnb Host I said, “Well… there is this one other guy…” and she said, “Why do we do this?! Why do we lie?!” She’s right, why didn’t I just say, “Yes, I am talking to a few other people, but I’ve only gone out with you?” I think it’s just a natural reflex. Whether we’re concerned that we may sound slutty, worried about hurting the other persons feelings, or simply just don’t want to spoil the moment, we lie. No more of that.

I’ve given my keys back twice to people this month. Only this time, the person who closed the door opened my mind in more ways than one. Now that’s a 5 star rating!

 

Get Lost

After moving to California and going through a devastating transition to say the least, I found myself wondering what am I doing here (and in life). Everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong.  A breakup, a car accident, getting a puppy than him peeing all over my new dress, phone shattering, losing power … I could go on…I thought the universe was against me, and I started to feel truly lost. As tempting as it was to take the first flight back to New York to be with my friends and family, I knew deep down, I couldn’t give up that easily.
Instead, I cried my eyes out, vented to my besties, Patrice and Peter (my Cali BFF’s who may or may not be in their 50’s…) poured myself a glass of wine, bought some waterproof mascara and decided I was just going to go with it. I am now embracing this unique “journey,” canceling my pity party and saying cheers to being lost. Here’s why :)

  1. This experience has taught me to be able to accept things that don’t go according to plan.
  2. There is something great about feeling curious and wanting more in life.
  3. Your journey is yours; it’s unique. You don’t need to proceed down YOUR path at the same rate as your peers.
  4. It feels good to be up for a challenge. Remember, if you aren’t being challenged, then there is no growth.
  5. You will avoid being a “know it all” and instead continue to learn, grow and work hard. If you’re the smartest person in the room then you should open the door and explore new opportunities and then become the boss bitch you secretly are.
  6. It’s an awesome feeling to be open-minded.
  7. When you aren’t so hard on yourself, and you admit that you are a little lost, you become open to more opportunities that will help you find what you are looking for.
  8. When you’re hard on yourself you can become hard on others. There’s power in showing and accepting your flaws.
  9. You will be able to get excited about the unknown and the future.
  10. Maybe you are exactly where you need to be – lost… because how does anyone stumble upon a new (amazing) path anyway?

Go get ’em ladies!
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