Friday night was the first time I truly felt on my own in California. My relationship ending was one thing, but what felt worse, was not having my amazing life coach/therapist to talk with. This of course, was my Airbnb Host, another older and wiser adult, who I’ve become close to in a short period of time. (I really need to start meeting people my own age.) I have to admit, I was a little cautious about the whole Airbnb thing at first, but I needed a place to stay temporarily before I landed a studio to call my own.
First lesson I learned when I walked into her home, was that you CAN mix-and-match prints. I knew right then, I was going to totally milk this and get as much décor advice as possible. Little did I know, I’d be gaining so much more. I talked to her about basically everything this past month. Yep, if you’re reading this, she probably knows you, your last name, your address and we should be getting a sample of your DNA back soon; but let’s stick to the subject. Here is some kickass advice to live by from my Airbnb Host!
Pay attention to “Pink Flags”: I HATE that I often excuse those little things about a person that drive me crazy and don’t make me feel good. An unanswered text, “He must be busy,” or how about that guy who is only available on Sunday? Yep, he’s a keeper. If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal. All the little bits of “information” they’re unknowingly sharing might be nothing at all. The only thing you can do is follow your gut and call them what they are, “Pink Flags.” They ain’t red yet, but they are getting close.
Don’t feel guilty for cutting people out of your life: I think the reason why I handled the breakup semi-ok was because I’ve had worse. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by not boyfriends but close girlfriends, who are no longer in my life. This present situation has had me reflect on the past and had me thinking, “Wow, that’s a list long of people I’ve walked away from.” My Airbnb Host made me feel better when she said, “You cut them out of your life for a reason.” I thought, you know what, she’s right! Even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose to walk away, knowing that relationship wasn’t healthy for me. I’m proud to say that I know when it’s time to walk away from a once beautiful relationship, boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, I have to start not feeling guilty for it.
Why lie? Be straight up: While this seems like a given, it’s actually harder than it sounds. I’ve realized that I have lied a few times to protect another person’s feelings. Ah wait, that’s a lie. I lied because I felt it was easier than getting into something that would be uncomfortable. Sure, I can be the most straight-up bitch and tell it like it is to my besties (sorry again Olivia, LOVE YOU!). Then why do I sugarcoat things with the opposite sex? Not to excuse my actions, but I think most of us are guilty of this. For example, when I was out with this guy, he asked me if I was talking to anyone else and I said, no. Then, as I was chatting with my Airbnb Host I said, “Well… there is this one other guy…” and she said, “Why do we do this?! Why do we lie?!” She’s right, why didn’t I just say, “Yes, I am talking to a few other people, but I’ve only gone out with you?” I think it’s just a natural reflex. Whether we’re concerned that we may sound slutty, worried about hurting the other persons feelings, or simply just don’t want to spoil the moment, we lie. No more of that.
I’ve given my keys back twice to people this month. Only this time, the person who closed the door opened my mind in more ways than one. Now that’s a 5 star rating!
Dayna, you certainly have come a loooong way – so in control (I like that). I’m sure it’s rough but have confidence in yourself, apparently you are on the right track.. I’m very – very proud of you – so proud to say “YES” Dayna’s my Granddaughter!!!
Please send me your address and if there is anything I can do for you on this end –never-never hesitate to touch base for whatever!!!
I love you very much, looking forward to your next post.
Gram & Grandpa (too)
Oh grandma my love, thanks for the adorable lengthy comment on my blog. I’ll tell you my address on the phone 😉