Marnie was, and still is a total roller coaster on the HBO show, Girls. We all know when she claims to be “okay”, girlfriend is sooo not okay. Marnie and I both do this thing where we put on our happy face and hold things in. I’m fully aware of this now because I realized I am indeed this character on Girls. S
ooner or later, we burn ourselves out when we do this. Case and point, my semi breakdown this week that totally screwed up all the goals I put into place this month. However, unlike Marnie, I see that I might’ve pushed myself too hard to escape my emotions. Therefore, I feel zero guilt for these 4 epic fails this June
FAIL #1: Start a healthier diet
This past Wednesday I was grocery shopping and saw the most adorbs 4th of July cupcakes and figured I’d bring them to the office for the girls along with a bottle of wine. I told my bestie, Olivia who lives in NYC, about my sweet gesture but naturally she calls me out saying, “Dayna, you don’t even eat cupcakes!?!” And I thought, “Well, I can’t just bring wine, can I?” Anyways, she was right. I don’t do cupcakes. Or brownies. Or anything unhealthy really because I’m a freak who was once gluten-free and enjoyed juice cleanses (bless my 19-year-old self).
That night I wanted something delish after dinner and usually a piece of dark chocolate does the trick but the little bastards were looking at me and I couldn’t resist their cuteness. I tried to look away and think about the healthy new diet I decided to get back into this month. But, low and behold, I guess I fucking eat cupcakes now.
The next morning my coworker, Annie, noticed my blue tongue and said, “cupcakes for breakfast?..” But hell this is coming from a girl who eats string cheese like it’s her job so… Needless to say the cupcakes and wine didn’t make it to the office this week.
Pay attention to “Pink Flags”: I HATE that I often excuse those little things about a person that drive me crazy and don’t make me feel good. An unanswered text, “He must be busy,” or how about that guy who is only available on Sunday? Yep, he’s a keeper. If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal. All the little bits of “information” they’re unknowingly sharing might be nothing at all. The only thing you can do is follow your gut and call them what they are, “Pink Flags.” They ain’t red yet, but they are getting close.
Don’t feel guilty for cutting people out of your life: I think the reason why I handled the breakup semi-ok was because I’ve had worse. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by not boyfriends but close girlfriends, who are no longer in my life. This present situation has had me reflect on the past and had me thinking, “Wow, that’s a list long of people I’ve walked away from.” My Airbnb Host made me feel better when she said, “You cut them out of your life for a reason.” I thought, you know what, she’s right! Even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose to walk away, knowing that relationship wasn’t healthy for me. I’m proud to say that I know when it’s time to walk away from a once beautiful relationship, boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, I have to start not feeling guilty for it.
Now, I have a totally different view of what it means to be “in the middle,” and it’s definitely not as amusing as I remember. Today, it seems we all take life too seriously focusing straight ahead to reach goals society has programmed us to achieve. We also often get stuck in-between jobs, in the middle of two family members, or even in-between a best friend and a boyfriend. I’ll admit for the past year I have felt like quite the middle man, or woman I should say. I’m in that limbo adult phase in life where I have a nice job and great group of friends, but still not sure where I’m headed; and that’s ok. I’ve come to realize that fully accepting the middle means you’ve taken the responsibility to take control of your own life; no 
Pinky To Posh 