It’s Handled

“It’s all in the rear view for me. I need to move forward. I am moving forward.”
– Olivia Pope.

Around this time last year, I wrote a post about loving my career and putting 100% of my time and energy towards it. I craved success, and it felt so close I could taste it. At the same time, I wondered how “full” my life truly was. I have no regrets; I just look at things a bit differently now.

It all started when I was chatting with a friend in the coffee room. It was another late night and I remember telling her how I started drinking my coffee black like my soul and she laughed saying, “I know you feel like you have bigger and better things to do, but maybe you could find someone to have an even better time with… Go home Dayna. And please add milk, that’s disgusting.”Screen Shot 2016-05-01 at 3.50.38 PM

She was right. Why was I acting like a single 50-year-old woman? I excused it with answers like, “I don’t have time to commit and think about a relationship and love” or “I work late hours, I’m glued to my computer and won’t have much time for romance.” That was a lie, excuses holding me back from finding true happiness and fulfillment. Truth was, I was too busy keeping life squeaky clean and easy… God forbid I opened myself up for the possibility of things to get messy (and boy did they get messy).

I’m not perfect, or going to be the perfect girlfriend. They say love is made in the kitchen, but I think salmonella poisoning and stomachaches are made in mine. When I was single I was content ordering takeout, watching Scandal, having another peaceful night without setting off the smoke alarm. I mean… Olivia Pope doesn’t cook! Girlfriend lives off popcorn and wine and look at her! I bet if Fitz was like, “Liv, I’m starving. What’s for dinner?” She would say, “it’s handled”, close the laptop, answer the door, and take that seamless delivery to her man like a boss. [enter fist pump emoji]

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Get Lost

After moving to California and going through a devastating transition to say the least, I found myself wondering what am I doing here (and in life). Everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong.  A breakup, a car accident, getting a puppy than him peeing all over my new dress, phone shattering, losing power … I could go on…I thought the universe was against me, and I started to feel truly lost. As tempting as it was to take the first flight back to New York to be with my friends and family, I knew deep down, I couldn’t give up that easily.
Instead, I cried my eyes out, vented to my besties, Patrice and Peter (my Cali BFF’s who may or may not be in their 50’s…) poured myself a glass of wine, bought some waterproof mascara and decided I was just going to go with it. I am now embracing this unique “journey,” canceling my pity party and saying cheers to being lost. Here’s why :)

  1. This experience has taught me to be able to accept things that don’t go according to plan.
  2. There is something great about feeling curious and wanting more in life.
  3. Your journey is yours; it’s unique. You don’t need to proceed down YOUR path at the same rate as your peers.
  4. It feels good to be up for a challenge. Remember, if you aren’t being challenged, then there is no growth.
  5. You will avoid being a “know it all” and instead continue to learn, grow and work hard. If you’re the smartest person in the room then you should open the door and explore new opportunities and then become the boss bitch you secretly are.
  6. It’s an awesome feeling to be open-minded.
  7. When you aren’t so hard on yourself, and you admit that you are a little lost, you become open to more opportunities that will help you find what you are looking for.
  8. When you’re hard on yourself you can become hard on others. There’s power in showing and accepting your flaws.
  9. You will be able to get excited about the unknown and the future.
  10. Maybe you are exactly where you need to be – lost… because how does anyone stumble upon a new (amazing) path anyway?

Go get ’em ladies!
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DREAM CHASER

For 5 years I put my blog first and whatever job second. I would post 2-3 times a week and spent hours on Photoshop building the perfect article. I wrote on the train ride into work, Sunday afternoons at Barnes & Noble, and I swear writing even cured my hangovers. After a while it killed me that I couldn’t give this blog my all because of the job I had. My parents agreed to give me 6 months focus on my blog if I worked hard and made enough money. I was 23, fearless, passionate… And in for a ride.

Everything was going well in the beginning. I had more time to network my ass off and build relationships with people in the fashion and entertainment industry. Phone call with Leah Jenner? No problem. Interview Carmelo Anthony? Done. You could no longer find me in Barnes & Noble, I was a girl on the go and no one could stop me.

I challenged myself to make every post more creative than the last. It wasn’t just a “blog post” it was a full on slide show with graphics, a Instagram flipagram, a photoshoot- it was my baby. I taught myself new tricks and took a course at NYU to learn how to code and use HTML.

About 5 months later and a very low income from my sponsored posts, I started having second thoughts. On top of that, something I loved, my therapy, wasn’t fun anymore. It dawned on me that my time was almost up, and that was ok.

At first I thought maybe I wasn’t ready. That’s probably true, but when are we ever really ready start a new career or a new beginning? Many of us feel we’re ready, but never take the chance. Well, I’m happy I took mine.

It’s been almost a year at my current job and I continue to be humbled by the fact that I don’t know it all. There’s so much left to learn and I’m excited to go to work everyday knowing I’ll be faced with a new challenge.

In the end, I’ll always believe in chasing a dream but I’m no longer afraid that dream is running away from me. We’ll meet again soon.

You Know Your Getting Old When…

1. You swoon over a request from a hot guy on LinkedIn and not Facebook.

2. You stop looking at your ex’s tweets because your too busy following real life issues.

3. You realize that Instagram fame won’t pay the bills, build relationships or get Ryan Gosling’s attention.

4. You check your work e-mail more than your Instagram.

5. You’d rather a good laugh over another “fashionable” post. I could care less about Kendall, Kylie, and what celebs are “in.” Instead I’m following @marniethedog, @cheesecurlsofinstagram and @thefatjewish… Humor never goes out of style.

6. You forget to snap a picture of your beautiful cosmopolitan for Instagram because you drank it too fast. It was a long week at work so SCREW INSTAGRAM! #adultyolo

7. Your grandma has a Facebook and your younger cousin in high school doesn’t. Enough said.

8. That younger cousin has more likes on Instagram than you.

9, Your friends on Facebook are having “life events” like getting engaged and married and your just tagging yourself in the hottest bar in NYC.

10. IRL, #DM, #GTFO? Hold on let me google it.

When I met you in the winter

“Be nice or I’ll write about you on my blog”, my instagram bio says. Well, a few nice guys didn’t like this and asked if that meant I only write about the bad ones. I then thought of a couple boys I’ve met and there was one that stood out to me. 

On a chilly winter day I was running late and a little lost in New York City. My phone was dead and I had no shame asking anyone and everyone for directions. I asked a foreigner, of course, and two girls who completely blew me off. That’s when I met him. He told me to follow him, he was taking the B and I was taking the C train uptown. He just moved into the city and we talked about how easy it is to get confused with the subways but I think he was trying to make me feel better.

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4 Fails At A Strip Club

It’s been a busy few months and since moving into the city it’s only gotten worse. I’ve had less time to blog ever since my lazy Sunday’s have been taken away by cleaning and furniture shopping (mind you I’m still on the hunt for a bed) and I’ve been working so late by the time I get out I just want to unplug.

However, this weekend inspired me to get back on my blogging game…Why? Because nothing cures writers block like going to a strip club. Yep! If your looking to get laid don’t follow my lead. Here are my 4 fails at a strip club.

 1. The Interviewer: As I was chatting with a few of the strippers (trying hard to not look down) I would try to change the subject to feel less awkward. For instance, when they said “Your beautiful! Would you like a dance?” I would say something like, “Aw, thanks but no thanks! So how long have you been doing this for?” “How long are the hours?” “Do you commute?” and my favorite, “Is there a dress code?” I was basically interviewing all the men. Needless to say, none of them got the job (Pun intended.)

2. The Mom: Some of the guys were as young as 21…MIND BLOWN when one guy told me he’s been stripping since he was 18. Naturally, I turned into a 60 year old woman telling him, he’s not gonna be cute and fit forever and that he should go to school. From there, I asked deep questions like, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” His answers made me want to give him a hug and tell him everything’s going to be ok, totally strip club appropriate.  I’m surprised I didn’t get kicked out for harassing the strippers, but wasn’t surprised when they walked away and started cuddling up to the rich 80 year old who didn’t ask questions… he paid up.

3. The Stingy: I was definitely not being “cheap” on purpose, I had cash on me (you know, just to fit in…) But things would’ve been easier and less awkward if I could just hand them the bills. “Where’s the cashier?!” I thought. I didn’t want to be rude but I couldn’t get myself to put cash in someone’s Calvin’s.

4. The Basic Bitch: Nothing’s says “I’m having so much fun!” like asking the half-naked bartender to charge your iPhone. When I ran out of juice I became just as anxious as the thirty men and women at that bar. To me, a full charged iPhone is the equivalent to an orgasm… it’s satisfaction guaranteed. “YES, YES, YES!” I softly screamed as the text messages started coming in. True pleasure.

Another lazy Sunday taken away from me the next day as I knew it was time to go to the laundry mat. Uncomfortable and out of place, I found myself shaking 10 times more putting my quarters into the machine than I was putting dollars into someone’s boxer briefs the night before. I laughed and thought, “I don’t know if I’ll ever go to a strip club again, but I definitely need to find a new laundry mat…”

Actually, She’s Just Not That Into You.

Thinking back to some of our most beloved rom-com movies I find myself to be somewhat offended by the movie, He’s Just Not That into You. The story seems very sexist to me and, of course, one of the single ladies is played by miss solo herself, Jennifer Aniston. How ironic. A woman who remains not married on and off camera…and written off to be miserable about it. Why is it that we teach women to aspire to marriage but we teach men to aspire to careers? Not everyone wants to get married and marriage shouldn’t be seen as an accomplishment. Did it ever occur to people that maybe Ms. Aniston or us girls aren’t into the guy? That actually, she’s just not that into you…

1. If she’s not drunk texting you.
Exception to the rule: she’s just tipsy, her phone died, she’s in a coma.

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2. If she isn’t following you and hasn’t liked ANY of your Instagram pictures.
Exception to the rule: you don’t have a Instagram, your pictures are all WCW, you only have one picture.
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To The Guy I Was Sleeping With

In 2014 I slept with a guy multiple times without being in a serious relationship. Now before you roll your eyes and say to yourself, “well, duh of course this ends badly,” think of all the relationships that jump into something too fast and too serious; those also crash and burn. Trust me, I used to look back at it all and blame myself for the not so happy ending. I would think, “I’m hard on myself so I’m hard on others” or “I have high expectations for myself, so I did from you.” And while that could all be true, I still don’t think I could have done anything differently. You helped me let my hair down, but I could never let you in, with good reason. I no longer blame myself for the game you played and here’s why…

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