Before I begin I want to say that I am so incredibly grateful to have had such experiences being backstage at previous fashion shows. I know there are a ton of girls who would love to have been given those opportunities… which is why I am making room for them. This was my last year attending New York Fashion Week.
My first year at NYFW was in 2010 when I was in college. Since I studied fashion, I was presented the opportunity to work a few of the shows, one being BCBGMAXAZRIA. I remember working the door and feeling so fucking cool… even with my worker’s shirt on. As I was finishing help those find their seats, one of the PR girls was freaking out that two seats in the 2nd row were empty. This doesn’t look good for designers and wouldn’t appear nicely in photos captured of the show. Naturally, a friend and I were happy to fill in the gaps. I recall sitting there next to her and listening to her gasp and afterwards say it was one of the coolest moments of her life. I agreed it was cool, but deep down I really didn’t give a shit. I should’ve know at that moment that maybe fashion isn’t my calling.
Fast forward a few years later when I wrote about the models you should follow on Instagram and featured fun GIFS (or as everyone calls them now, boomerangs) of the models backstage. I wrote these articles because I felt like for those like me, who might not be totally inspired by the latest trends, can at least see that there is more to the women who walk the runway and that’s why I enjoyed being backstage vs watching the shows. Without knowing it at the time, I was starting to transition from a fashion blog to more lifestyle content.
Marnie was, and still is a total roller coaster on the HBO show, Girls. We all know when she claims to be “okay”, girlfriend is sooo not okay. Marnie and I both do this thing where we put on our happy face and hold things in. I’m fully aware of this now because I realized I am indeed this character on Girls. S
ooner or later, we burn ourselves out when we do this. Case and point, my semi breakdown this week that totally screwed up all the goals I put into place this month. However, unlike Marnie, I see that I might’ve pushed myself too hard to escape my emotions. Therefore, I feel zero guilt for these 4 epic fails this June
Pay attention to “Pink Flags”: I HATE that I often excuse those little things about a person that drive me crazy and don’t make me feel good. An unanswered text, “He must be busy,” or how about that guy who is only available on Sunday? Yep, he’s a keeper. If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal. All the little bits of “information” they’re unknowingly sharing might be nothing at all. The only thing you can do is follow your gut and call them what they are, “Pink Flags.” They ain’t red yet, but they are getting close.
Don’t feel guilty for cutting people out of your life: I think the reason why I handled the breakup semi-ok was because I’ve had worse. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by not boyfriends but close girlfriends, who are no longer in my life. This present situation has had me reflect on the past and had me thinking, “Wow, that’s a list long of people I’ve walked away from.” My Airbnb Host made me feel better when she said, “You cut them out of your life for a reason.” I thought, you know what, she’s right! Even if I had the choice to go back, I would still choose to walk away, knowing that relationship wasn’t healthy for me. I’m proud to say that I know when it’s time to walk away from a once beautiful relationship, boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, I have to start not feeling guilty for it.
Pinky To Posh 